Hi, Would You Like To Buy A Paper?

Cora, Kim, and Grandma, now, have, in the past few days, brought up the subject of soliciting calls…you know the type: “Would you like seven months of Popular Mechanics?” One time I had the San Francisco paper call and ask me if I wanted a subscription. I asked the person on the other end if she knew where I was. She said, “No.” So, I asked her a question unrelated to my actual geographic location: “Do you know what time it is in Wisconsin?” “uhmm, No…I…Uh.” “Would you like me to call you while you were at dinner?” Then I asked her a hypothetical question, “why would I want a San Francisco paper if I were in Wisconsin?” “Uh…ummm…” She did NOT make a sale. As I recall we lived in Marysville, California…so selling the paper there was not a stupid idea, but she caught me in a mental state that allowed for me to take advantage of her cerebral slothfulness. She obviously did not know the area code she had dialed was local.

Another time, much more recently, I got a call asking me if I wanted to renew my prescription to heart medicine…it was a specific med…I told them I did not have a prescription…the person asked me what prescription I did have…I told them I was interested, but needed to call them back He stupidly gave me a number, and I asked for his address…which he gave with some reluctance and later ended up being false. One of the numbers WAS correct. I called it back several times that day. At one time claiming to be Imelda Marcos with a horrible southern accent and either a male voice or a smoker’s voice. I ended up explaining to them that I needed medical marijuana. I had begun by telling them I had gotten pills from them before and was asking for…damn, can’t remember who I wanted, but the person on the other end said he was this person’s brother, and would be happy to take my order, no need to prove my prescription status. Then I pushed it a bit far, like being named for a former Filipino head of state should not have tipped them off, and asked for medical marijuana…oh, well. I had plenty of fun that day. I could probably find the number if I tried…anyone interested?