Monday, December 21, 2020

A Conversation with Thirteen Year-Old Me.

 2020 Me:  Hey.  So your calculations were correct.  It's 2020 and I'm 46 years old.

1987 Me:  Neat! Are there flying cars?

2020 Me:  Not many, we still drive boring old cars on the roads.

1987 Me: But there ARE flying cars?

2020 Me:  Well, they are developing them, but they've been doing that for years.

1987 Me: BUT THERE ARE FLYING CARS!

2020 Me:  You know?  Stop with the cars.  We have computers in our pockets.

1987 Me:  REALLY!?  I bet you use them to cure cancer and stuff, right?  

2020 Me:  Uhh...no, mostly we play games.  Like the other day I downloaded "Connect 4!"

1987 Me:  Connect 4?  Are you joking?  That's a kid's game.

2020 Me:  I got it for my daughter to play.  

1987 Me:  We have a kid?  How old is she?  She must be 25 years old.

2020 Me:  Ahh...no, she's six, and the other one is eleven.

1987 Me:  We have two kids?  Is one a boy?  

2020 Me:  No, both are girls. 

1987 Me:  Huh.  That sucks.

2020 Me:  Not as much as you think.  Anyway, we can connect to information instantly with these computers in our pockets.

1987 Me:  So, you haven't cured cancer?  What about space?  Do you live in space?

2020 Me:  Stop with the Cancer thing.  No...well, a few people live in space at the International Space Station.

1987 Me: Anyone on the moon yet?  

2020 Me:  Not like, since 1972.

1987 Me:  Do you at least have a cool job?

2020 Me:  I'm a substitute teacher...but we are in the middle of a pandemic, so we are quarantining and I'm out of work.

1987 Me:  Who makes the money? Wait, like the Spanish Flu?

2020 Me:  Yeah, kinda.  My wife is an essential worker and we are scraping by.

1987 Me:  This is beginning to sound disappointing.

2020 Me:  Not as much as you think.  We have streaming TV.

1987 Me:  What's that?  A fishing show?

2020 Me:  No, we can watch whatever we want, movies, TV shows, whatever.

1987 Me: Cool!  What do you watch?

2020 Me: Tiger King...well, that's not a good example.  The Mandalorian...it's a Star Wars TV show.

1987 Me:  You still have Star Wars?

2020 Me:  Yeah, it's classic.  No we have like ten Star Wars movies.  

1987 Me:  Ten?  

2020 Me:  Yeah, Disney bought it and is making money hand over fist.

1987 Me:  What about holograms?

2020 Me:  You mean 3D images?  Not really, but we can use the computers in our pockets to video chat with almost anyone.  Actually we use our phones for that.  Our computers are phones.

1987 Me:  What. The. Heck?  You have phones that are computers in your pockets and you can video chat, like in Blade Runner?

2020 Me:  Kinda...like 2001 Space Odyssey, yeah.  

1987 Me:  That movie I was watching and had to go to bed before I could finish it?  

2020 Me:  Bed times are a bit lax now.  And yeah, that's the one.  Yeah, so like they found a Monolith in Utah.

1987 Me:  Like in the movie?  Was it Aliens?

2020 Me:  No one knows for sure, probably an art installation.  It disappeared, then they found another one in Hungary, and they started showing up all over.

1987 Me:  Aliens?

2020 Me:  Damn it.  you are obsessed.  No, not aliens.

1987 Me:  But you cured cancer?  What do you do all day if you don't have a job?

2020 Me:  Laundry, dishes, and I listen to my book.

1987 Me:  Wait, they have books that read to you?

2020 Me:  Yeah, it's a device called a Kindle, you can download books wirelessly.

1987 Me:  Oh, that's cool.

2020 Me:  Yeah, it is.  But I can watch TV shows on my phone, too.

1987 Me:  So, do you?

2020 Me:  No mostly I just stand in the kitchen listening to my book.  I used to listen to NPR until it was just too depressing.  Trump got voted out of office.  We started Quarantining again.  I learned to make noodles a couple years ago and I made empanadas not too long ago.

1987 Me:  That sounds boring.  Wait, as in Donald Trump?  The rich guy?

2020 Me:  Yeah, turns out he's not as rich as he lets on, and he became president.  But he's got a few screws loose and we voted him out.

1987 Me:  Well, that's good.  

2020 Me:  Yeah, it is.

1987 Me:  Ok.  What about the common cold?  Did you at least cure that?

2020 Me:  No, kid, we wear masks all the time so we don't catch Covid 19.  I've actually been healthier this year because we've been avoiding people.

1987 Me:   does 2020 suck?  

2020 Me:  Yeah.  Yeah, it does.

Friday, October 4, 2019

B-17 crash. October 2019.

The Time I jumped out of the Nine-Oh-Nine and sprained my ankle. :

I'd like to share an experience I had with Nine-Oh-Nine, long ago.

About 23 years ago the Nine-Oh-Nine came through our town. I was just out of college. I worked at a fast food place and didn't get off until 6. I stopped at my apartment to get my camera and drove straight to the airport. These were the days before 9/11, there was no security.

When I got there, the pilot's were standing around and a large group of people had shown up to welcome them. I blended in and took pictures as the sun lowered.

Soon the crowd dispersed and I was alone with this wonderful bird from two generations before my birth! I was communing with this fabulous flyer. It was a religious experience. I could touch her. No one called me out. I took pictures of her without other people in the way. The Western Sunset just made her prettier.

I circled the aircraft several times. Finally I neared the rear starboard side near the door. I knew it would be locked, but I reached out anyway. It was unlocked. I pushed it back into place lest I get caught. I then withstood a mental battle between the proverbial angel and demon sitting on my shoulders. The demon won...I don't think the angel put up that much of a fight.

I reached again for the door handle. I quickly jumped into the now darkened fuselage.

I made my way forward. I battled imaginary Me-109s and Fw-190s from the waist guns. I crept forward around the ball turret marveling at the brave men who once battled there. I stepped into the radio room and looked up.

I moved further and squeezed, even then, with my slightly over 20 year old physique it was a squeeze...perhaps it was my camera...through the bomb bay. I could have squealed like a school girl when I saw the 250lb GP bombs! That bomb bay catwalk was so awesome! I had read about men walking through it! How did I not know it was so small?

I continued. By now it was too dark for my camera, it was the 1990's and I carried ISO-400 film. I came to the top turret! OH! Another chance to shoot down enemy fighters! OH! I could have been an ace! Another Me-109 fell to my guns. Reluctantly I stepped down and marveled at the cockpit, that complicated mess of dials and gauges. Jeez, how was it so small an cramped? How was I able to be having this religious experience? How was I so lucky?

I bent own an began to crawl to the bombardier's place in the nose...only to find a small chain across the entrance. Now, what in my 20 year old brain said, "No, you can't cross this gossamer barricade," I'll never know. Probably the same one that didn't let me cross the similar chain keeping me from sitting in the pilot's seat above. Oh, those pathetic obstacles of youth. I turned and crawled back to the cockpit.

I looked once again at the top turret. I stood back up between the twin fifties, an something caught my eye. A pair of headlights pulling into the parking lot! Oh my lord! I was caught! the Night Guard had arrived to protect this war relic! I would be found out and arrested and my life would be ruined!

Immediately I left the top turret and hurried back through the bomb bay. I ran through the radio room. I was more careful descending next to the ball turret. Back again past the waist guns, what lurked outside was worse than Me-109s!

Finally, I was at the door! I can't even remember what the inside handle looked like. I opened it and sat down on the floor. There were no steps. My feet were merely inches above the pavement! I pushed off!

...and twisted my ankle upon landing. I limped, tears rising! OH GOD it hurt, but the guards! I clamped down on the pain. I straightened and made a valiant effort to look unharmed. I put my camera up taking imaginary pictures and inched around the nose so I could see the guards walking up.

But there were no guards. The car, who's headlights I had seen, was now pulling out of the parking lot. ARGH! I could have spent more time with this phantom flying lady from generations ago, but now my ankle was swelling. Reluctantly, I bid her farewell an limped back to my car. When I got home minutes later, my ankle was the size of a grapefruit and my girlfriend wanted to know what I had done. She's now my wife an I regret nothing.

this summer, I took my daughters to see the colling's Foundation's offerings! A P-40, a P-51, a B-17, a B-24, an a B-25! Oh, the joy I had showing my beautiful daughters around these fine birds. My 10 year old stopped to listen as I regaled them with tales told before I was born. She asked pertinent questions and I answered. She listened and appreciated these beasts of war. They both enjoyed the experience. I appreciated the man at the door telling me the stamps we got upon entering would let us in for the following three days.

It breaks my heart that lives were lost. It hurts my soul that other daughters and sons won't be able to share the wonders and experiences I've had with the Nine-Oh-Nine over multiple decades. Thank you.

~Jim R. Huffman, Moxee, Washington.

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

WWII Aircraft and Daughters!

Every few years some bombers from WWII fly through the area.  A few years back chloe, my parents, and I were able to see them.  This year we took Hailey and my parents were unable to attend. Here are the photographic highlights of my day!  I got to teach my daughter about airplanes and she was a willing...or at least a humoring...participant!




















Saturday, May 19, 2018

Alpacas

I took the girls down in the valley today.  We went to my parents and then we all went to a local Alpaca farm.  Hailey, who's deathly afraid of all four legged animals, was amazingly brazen and brave.  She ran up to a few feet behind her sister as the oldest tried to feed the yearling male alpacas some rabbit food.  The yearlings weren't sure what to make of it, but they were curious about the small humans and spent a lot of time investigating the diminutive humans from a distance. 

Overall, it was a wild success.  The humans came out unscathed and the alpacas continued wearing their amusing haircut, which left their legs and heads with full hair, but their bodies shorn. 

We had lunch with my parents where the girls ate fairly well and my father all but killed himself trying to pay the bill.

Apart from Cora being so far away, it was a good, good day.

Friday, May 5, 2017

Three Grown Men Hiding Behind a Car

Last year was Chloe's first year of school.  We live in a small town and most kids walk to school if they are in town.  We, being the protective parents we are, asked about a possible bus to take our beloved five-year-old to school, but we were rebuffed and given a map with a route that she could walk.  Being a teacher, and knowing some of the teachers and knowing a couple who's kids attend the same daycare we were able to wrangle rides for Chloe all year.  This year she has taken her bike most days, whether riding to school with a teacher and then riding her bike back to the daycare because I leave the bike before I go to work at the school, or walking.  Either way, it has been stressful on this whole family making sure she gets home and yet meeting our own afternoon needs as employees.

Well, Chloe's Grandfather works for the school district.  He has seen that many children have been picked up by the bus in town and he inquired with the bus garage as to why THEY can get picked up and his granddaughter cannot.  Well, the bus people gave him some excuses and ignored him, but he mentioned it to his boss and low and behold there is a state statute or law or something that says if she is a member of this program...which she is...she needs to be given the option of riding a bus to school.

The next day we got called by the bus people saying, miraculously, they could give her a ride to school on the bus.  Today was the first day she was able to do it.  Her grandfather walked her to the bus stop to make sure she got on the bus and knew how to get there.  This afternoon, knowing where the bus stop is and having my camera, I wanted to make sure she got off the bus alright and maybe get a picture of her first bus ride home.  I still had dishes to do, so I figured I'd watch and go home before I picked the girls up, so no need to alert her to my presence.

So...while I was awaiting the bus a familiar pick up pulls in and parks behind me.  It was my father-in-law come to make sure she made it to daycare ok.  I sheepishly waved.  He got out and we took station behind the vehicle and waited.  Then one of the city guys showed up.  Asking about why we were being suspicious.  We explained and  explained the camera and then we all three commenced to hide behind the vehicle as the bus pulled up.  Three of us watched through the windows of the vehicle as the bus driver instructed Chloe to walk in front of the bus but where she could be seen.  Then my daughter darted down the steps and to the front of the bus where she hesitated and finally ran.  All the way to the daycare.

The three of us men congratulated ourselves on our well conducted nefarious plot to observe a little girl get safely off a bus and go to daycare.

Later we were to find out the little girl's grandmother had conducted a similar operation in her front yard to watch for the granddaughter's approach.

It takes a village and a village is what we have.


Wednesday, August 17, 2016

A Good Book, a GREAT AUTHOR!!

My favorite author is coming out with the latest in her best series.  Here's the ad for it!

I'm not paid, but I like to share the love!

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Home Again, but Not For Long.

 My sister and her husband got it in their heads that Texas would be a great place to move to to help the Lord...I'm no expert in what the Lord needs for help, I always rather thought he was self-sufficient, but they think it's a fine idea.  I do know that it is more difficult to visit Texas over the weekend than it is the Tricities.  So we have not seen them since last September.  They have come back for only a few weeks and must leave again before the week is over.  So, as a last hurrah of sorts, the whole family, or what could get together on short notice, came together for a dinner to see them off.  These are some of the pictures that were taken while they were here.



 Cora was at the camera on the tripod for the next series...
 First there was Isaac staring and smiling at the un-manned camera, so Cora started taking shots...
 then another brother came on the scene..."You taking pics?  I'm in!"
 And the next, a sister this time.
 "Hey, we taking pics?"
 " Don't forget about me!"
 "Hey, I'm the dad!"
 And hey reached critical mass and began to fission.
 Here you can see the diiference between Cora holding Hailey, and Daddy holding Hailey...see?  It's the smile.  Yeah, and I might be puffed up a bit in the realization that she likes me a bit more...but that's normal pride, right??