Ants. I hate ants. I am speaking of the insect, not your Aunt Bessy. ( I am really quite fond of parents’ sisters.) I got home today and began to empty the garbage, because I had forgotten to this morning. As I pulled it out from under the sink I noticed the coffee grounds were moving. I have hated ants since they raised their ugly little feelers shortly after we moved in. OK, they come because I am a pig. I leave stuff on the counter that I shouldn’t. I can’t stop. I can only prolong the amount of time it takes before I forget and leave some sugar on the counter. Maybe I hate them because I hate my own pigginess. Nevertheless, when they come into the house, I feel an inhuman rage that makes me go to extreme lengths to kill each and every one of them. This afternoon, it was simply to take the garbage out, then come back in and spray the hell out of the under-sink area with poison. I would use explosives, but Cora thinks we will need some resale value from the house. I have bombed the house…the underside. I have used nasty home remedies. I have even attempted to squish the little bastards, one-by-one. The only thing is the little bastards stink. They appear to be what people call sugar ants…which, I am assuming, is because they like sugar, not because of how they taste. (NO, I have not tasted them, but if you give me your name and address, I will send you an un-poisoned sample to try. Then you can get back to me. It is in the name of science, so I am expecting a large number of you to request ant samples.) They appear to come from nowhere. Then they disappear again.
On the bright side, this is Tuesday! Deadliest Catch is on. So, I get to watch men on boats causing the deaths of arthropods! (Did you know that Arthropoda is the largest phylum of animals? It includes crustaceans, insects, and spiders to name but a few. An ant is an insect, which is an arthropod. Therefore, logically, Deadliest Catch is about killing ants. I love that show.)
I taught Kinders today. What a joy. Only one timeout. I asked the child after several chances, what I should do with him. He answered, quietly, and with a little remorse, “Send me to time out.” It was all I could do to send him without laughing. I love it. They are so sweet at that age!
Well, Cora is Bass Fishing via Wii…I think I will try to join her expedition.