Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Nocturnal Headcold and Its Natural Habitat

I have been around for awhile now; 34 years to be exact. In that time I have come to know mybody fairly well(It's a very close relationship, seems like we have always known each other). For instance I know my big toe on my right foot seems more likely to get stubbed in the middle of the night than my left toe. My ankles tend to roll sideways when I don't want them to, which often results in severe pain and a limp. I know that if I feel a sneeze coming on, I am one of a small percentage of people (19%?) that can look at a bright light source and force the sneeze. I also know that my tear ducts(...or is it sinus ducts?) are such that if I hold my nose, I can make air come out of my eyes. And finally, I can feel when I have a cold coming on.

That last one is the focus of this post. Headcolds, specifically. I don't enjoy being sick (who does?). But with most malodies there is some outward sign that you are sick. Not so with my headcolds. I walk around during the day and look fine. In fact, I usually feel fine during the day. I have nocturnal colds.

Usually the only symptom I feel during the day might be a runny nose or a slightly sore throat. At night, though, out comes the horrible headcold's worst symptoms. The runny nose turns in to one that won't let anything pass, including air. If it does let anything pass, it is only in one direction. Usually in. So that after a while it feels like my head has become over-inflated.

Even if I do manage to keep one nostril open, other things happen that make me miserable. Tonight, for instance, I have one ear that seems to be working less than the other. I can't hear so well. One of my eyes is watering. I get phantom sore muscles...I suspect they might be phantom muscles, because I am pretty sure I don't have that many muscles. It feels like I should be able to blow my nose, but I can't. and, last, but most annoying, I cannot sleep.

It does not matter what kind of drugs I take. If I have a headcold, I usually have significant trouble sleeping. Sometimes it is that feeling that if you go to sleep you might suffocate in your own mucus(that is a pleasant feeling), but others it is a bothersome itch in the back of my throat that makes it impossible to settle into slumber. Either way, I find it better to sit up and doze.

So, my Nocturnal Cold rages all night long. My head is apparently signed up to employ Union Headcolds, because once the night shift is over I begin to feel better and I can move around with ease and I can breathe! By the end of the headcold I am ready to die. No sleep for Jim makes for a very miserable Jim. Even now, I was just gazing at the computer screen...I don't know for how long. I need to take some more meds...apparently.

Oh, and Meds. I tend to overdose. If the packet says four hours, I know that a half hour before the four hours is up, I am certain to begin to feeling a cold presence and see a very sharp scythe in the corner of my eye...just waiting. I then run in and get the cold meds...I also think that using different meds keeps the cold off balance...say, use Actifed the first time, then use Tylenol Cold, then Nyquil...of course, usually I do this because we didn't buy enough of the same cold medicine and all there is is one of each left in the medicine cabinet...figures.

I wish the cold would go on strike for better pay...maybe it will move on to someone else's head. I sure don't want it in mine. I think I will go die quietly now...


Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

Take EMERCYN-C... I drink tons of that .. and it helps..
Hope you feel better..

Erin said...

Sounds to me like you were at Shey Mono' last night.

Cora said...

Good greif Jim, just add a WHY ME phase and you could win the whine about a little cold award.
Hope you feel better, soon.