Thursday, August 21, 2008

Patch of Goo

Alright, so I seem to be accident prone. I have known this for a long time. When I was a kid I was constantly twisting my ankles. I learned to do a back flip off the diving board and then promptly put a hole in my head that required stitches. One day I was helping my dad load a table saw into the back of his pick-up and it came down on my hand, it caused nerve damage and I got stitches. I rode my bike while camping and have a nice scar to show for the brilliant crash that should have been caught on video...I imagine there was flame and smoke incorporated, but none of the witnesses saw it. I was riding my bike down a hill and crashed into a parked car...yep, parked. As soon as I started driving, I got tickets. Soon after that, my car, a 1965 Plymouth Valiant, got into a disagreement with a 1983 Monte car won, my insurance did not. While I was working at a Subway, I was sharpening a knife...well, I probably did not need to sharpen it, and I did not mean to test it...that got me a few stitches. Then, of course, I got poked in the eye at work and got a detached retina for my trouble. Over the past couple years I have had my share of accidents at work. Need I mention the broken tires and stuck tractors?

Today, I decided, since I was the only one there (it was after three) I could just travel across town and use the forklift to move some composite railroad ties. They are kind of a plastic post. Local skateboarders have been tearing down the pile (they were removed from the old playground set) and using them for impromptu skateboard things (Sorry, I don't know the appropriate "Skater" terminology, maybe one of you can help? They sort of scoot their skateboard sideways across them). This use poses a safety and monetary hazard (safety for the kids and money for the school), so I decided to move them, if not back to the shop, at least to a better place.

Monday, I was going to use our forklift to move some pallets. The food service lady had been using it all day and it had been just fine. I was on it for 3 minutes and all of a sudden it felt like I was getting slapped on the ass! It sounded like I had some how wrapped a chain around the axle. I shut it down immediately! The fanbelt had broken and then taken a couple fan blades with it for good measure. The boss had them take it away to fix it and leave us a loaner. Well, I used the loaner today.

I got my load and decided to use the shortest route. that was in front of one of the wings of the school. It was blocked by a car, but I have driven on the grass before with positive results, so I did it again. Seems this time, despite my making sure the ground was solid, there was a small patch of goo...about 2 feet wide by three feet long...and it was apparently not fond of Hysters, because it tried to eat mine.

I found that I could not remove it myself (wheel kept spinning), so I enlisted the help of a new teacher...she thought she could solve my dilemma with logic ("If you just take the load off the forks...or we, I don't know.")...she was wrong. She gave me a ride back to the shop where I got a tractor to use it to get the forklift out of the goo. I stopped to tell Cora I was going to be late first. Then I pulled the Hyster out and parked the tractor to finish my job. Then I drove the Hyster back by the house to tell Cora I'd be back. I put it in the shop, got in my truck and then had Cora drive me over to the tractor, which I drove back to the shop. Cora came and got me and I was done for the day...however, I had managed to stay over an hour longer than intended!
Cora, of course, will have some smug comment, but, I can't help my little incidents. It must be genetic, my dad has much the same luck. Well, at least we are closer to the weekend!


Cora said...

definately a genetic defect don't forget your Grand Dad on the upside down tractor. Good thing you wife was around to give you a ride!!

Grandma said...

Thank God the story had a happy ending. I thought you were going to say you cut your arm off.
It is not a myth. Some people just have more crazy things happen to them. Personally, I think your guardian Angel is slaking on his job. Maybe you should ask him to do a better job.

sister c said...

Glad I didn't get that genetic defect. I got the bad spelling gene though if that makes you feel better.