So, I am going to tell you how to win the hearts of fourth graders, but believe me, it is not for the weak of heart, nor stomach. I awoke this morning at 4am and noted that I felt…miserable. I was upset to my stomach, for no apparent reason. I got up and took a Pepcid, hoping that it would go away. My muscles were still sore, but that was only a minor consideration.
The day went nicely. Yes, I was upset to my stomach most of the day, but beyond that it went fine. When I explained my soreness to them as having come from playing games with their classmates in Terrace Heights, they thought that was cool. I also told them about our fish tank fiasco via giving them a spelling test. They got a kick out of that novel way of telling a story. So, yeah, did I win their hearts from this? Maybe. About 11am they went to PE, then recess, then lunch. I relaxed by putting my feet up and trying to calm my stomach. I drank some water and ate a little. I then spent part of lunch with the rest of the 4th grade teachers. I was more quiet than normal due to my stomach pains. Still, only a few more hours to go.
We got back from lunch and I began to read them a story. It is here that the absolute cunning of my technique comes out. I began to feel the urge to vomit. I took a drink of water. I continued to read. Then again, I felt the urge. I figured I could fight it, but midway through starting the last sentence of the chapter, my voice broke. I looked at the class and calculated my chances of avoiding their viewing of my up coming (yuck, sorry for the visual) demonstration of gravity, fluid dynamics, and the digestive system. I excused myself and grabbed a garbage can on the way out, thankful it was lined. The boys’ bathroom was right across the hallway. An unfortunate boy walked by during my performance, and said sorry. I said sorry at the same time. I decided I was finished after multiple…flare-ups, and walked back to class.
The kids had managed to see me from the door window. Or, at least a few, who, I am certain, then relayed the information…blow by blow (again, sorry for the visual). I walked back in and they each relayed their worry and care to me in numerous ways. One little girl got up and grabbed my water bottle from across the room. She took it to the sink and filled it up. She handed it to me. I was extremely appreciative of this action. I told them I was o.k., and actually feeling better. One sharp whit said, “it always feels better after.” I concurred and moved to the phone and alerted the office that I needed someone to cover for me because I had just gotten sick. The kids were disappointed that I would be going home. They, in near unison, said that I was their favorite sub, and wanted me to stay, though they understood that I was sick. A few asked me if I would come back. So, there you see my wonderful display of weakness did not breed contempt in their hearts but LOVE! I am an evil genius…a sick evil genius, but an evil genius nonetheless. So begins my plan to take over the world!!!! Wuh-ha-ha-ha!!
What a wonderful way to begin the weekend. I am feeling somewhat better. I still have horribly sore muscles. I did not clean the house as I planned. I managed one load of laundry, but took to the bed as soon as I was home. I lay there for an hour-and-a-half. Then decided I was simply TOO COLD. I took a hot shower which was not hot enough. I then came out and caved into my beloved recliner under a blanket. Cora came home and left again to go to her Mom’s to drop something off. I hope she comes home before I expire…
Middle English, from Anglo-French vomite, from Latin vomitus, from vomere to vomit; akin to Old Norse vāma seasickness, Greek emein to vomit
1: an act or instance of disgorging the contents of the stomach through the mouth; also : the disgorged matter2: emetic