Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Two Front Teeth?

My darling daughter had the cutest smile.  When she smiles she shows anywhere from two to four teeth.  It is the sweetest smile I have ever seen.  She is completely adorable when she smiles.  That smile will get her a long way.  I have been learning a lot about kids these past few weeks.  I have had a lot of firsts.

I am a newcomer to diaper changing.  I never changed a diaper before my daughter.  Still, I thought I'd picked a few things up over the years.  The main one is that girls are supposed to be easier.  c'mon, I KNOW girls are supposed to be easier to change, right???  I'm finding that I am having to rewrite the facts I've picked up over the years.  Did you know they can, and do, direct their pee?  Where the hell did they cover this in health class??  I know that boys can rifle shot that stuff ALL OVER the place, I've heard stories!  But, I thought girls weren't even built to be able to direct the flow...so to speak.

I discovered, on approximately my fourth diaper change EVER, that Chloe has the ability and inclination to pee DURING a diaper change.  Cora had experienced this earlier, but I attributed it to Cora just not having the right rapport with the child ( in other words, it hadn't happened to me, so I was invulnerable).  It happened in the middle of the night, of course.  I had elected to change the diaper while Cora made the bottle, figuring, smartly, that the bottle would take longer and I could drift back to sleep as soon as my part was done.

Well, it was very dim, and I had decided that an "In The Crib" diaper change was in order, since that would disturb our "little angel" less.  I began the naked-ifying process.  I left the top half of her PJs on and opened the diaper.  Yep.  Wet.  I turned and threw it on the floor, then grabbed the new diaper and the wipe.  When I turned back to my child, who was lying innocently in the crib with a strange smile on her face, I noticed a strange discoloration on the sheet.  Curious, and, let me just level with you, stupidly, I touched it...wet...WET???  What the HELL!?

My darling daughter had just let loose a bladder full.

I lamely moved the child and exclaimed to Cora, in a much more excited voice than necessary, what she had done.  Cora answered, in a bored tone, something that sounded like, "I told you so," but could have been, "I sold two bowls."  I chose to believe the latter, even though it didn't make much sense.  I bravely told her I would take care of it.  I completed the process, pulled the PJs off the kid and replaced them, then threw a towel over the wet spot, moved the kid to a different end and Cora finished the magic with a bottle.

Since then, I have been much more careful.  I open the diaper, but don't move it until I am 100% ready!  It has worked...until tonight.

I was changing my lovely daughter's diaper.  I followed my new SOP of leaving the diaper partway on.  I had opened it and inspected the damage and was reaching for the wipe.  I reached to open it again and realized I was seeing droplets appear on her legs...apparently out of nowhere.  It then occurred to me what was going on.  I pushed the diaper to hold back the flow, but it was already too late.

It was over.  I grabbed another wipe and began cleaning up the leg, then realized it had come out the other side, TOO!!  It was out both sides and I have NO idea how.  I looked at my sweet daughter...and...



...at me...

...with two front teeth.

I melted.

I guess I'll just have to be more careful next time!  


sweet momma luv u said...

Oh yes the joys of diapering 101!
When hubby would have to change a poopy diaper he would put on a surgical mask. It was so hilarious!

Jon Jon got him in the face when we were in Changsha. I still laugh thinking about it...

Sounds like you are doing a great job Dad!!

:) Jody

Thanks for your thoughtful comments today!

Charissa said...

Hey, great story but missing something from "Precious". You have a camera and a kid now put 2 and 2 together. ly guys!