Thursday, June 3, 2010


I have been subbing at the El.  I have been enjoying it.  I always enjoy the El, as I feel like I am part of the faculty there.  I don't have a full time job, but I am almost treated as though I do.  The kids all know me and so does the staff.  That recognition was brought home to me the other day when I showed up to work and found several other subs in the building for the day.  I smiled and welcomed them and then made small talk with the secretary and some of the staff.  Then I walked down the hallway with three of the subs.

It is here that my notoriety became apparent.  As we were walking the kids had been allowed to enter the building.  As the flood navigated past us and toward us from different directions, many of the kids could be heard to holler, "Hello Mr. H!!"  and I received more than a few run-by hugs and high-fives.  It wasn't out of the ordinary for me, but I noticed that the other subs received no such welcome.  Of course, I HAVE been subbing for three years now...won't some history teacher please just retire?  I'd like to have my own classes already!  Ah, well.  I enjoy the perks I have being among the few subs the kids remember and like.

Among the perks is the feud that began this year.  It started with me noticing a mark on a teacher's face.  I was unaware at the time, but she is apparently known for walking around with things on her face that she is unaware of.  I called her attention to it.  She explained that that happens often, and that she thought I was joking.  I don't remember the exact turn of events but one day I realized I had inadvertently opened a can of worms.

A child ran up and told me I had something on my face.  I reacted by rubbing my face.  The child laughed and said that Mrs. K had told her to do it.  (I should probably point out, I might have accidentally done something similar to her shortly before)  So the next time I had a chance (I believe the elapsed time was almost 30 seconds) I dispatched a child on a similar errand.  Since then, I can usually figure on a child telling me I have something on my face during the day.

For awhile I was in way too deep and was losing the battle.  THEN I remembered the power my color sheets have over children.  (Did I mention I am not above bribery?)  I told a bunch of fourth and fifth graders I would supply them with color sheets if they would only tell Mrs. K she had something on her face.  I was amazed at my brilliance!  Soon I was winning.  However, I was finding myself without color sheets when I was approached by the kids.  This week, I remembered to pay for the work I had commissioned.  After paying for previous deeds, I commissioned more!

I was informed by my minions that Mrs. K was mad...which means she is having fun.  She is a great actress.  She is really one of my favorite teachers and she keeps up the ruse, by glaring at me and simply saying my last name in a growl...I find it endearing.  Of course, she does, on occasion break character, but it's much more fun when she's acting.

So, it was a good day, up until I nearly sliced off my own foot.

I came home from work and then went and had two new tires put on my truck.  When I got home, I put together a stir fry.  It was ok, but I got side-tracked and it got a little burned, but it was fair.  As I was putting dinner away, I accidentally moved a towel that my large 10" cutting knife was apparently leaning on.  (did I mention I should improve my poor cooking safety habits?)  I turned away and then heard it start to slide.  I had put my weight on the wrong foot and could not shift fast enough to avoid it.  It clattered to the floor and into my foot. I calmly uttered a quiet expletive that I am only partially convinced the neighbors heard.  I quickly checked to make sure my foot remained attached.  It was.

Unluckily, the knife had slid into my foot point first.  Luckily, however, it was oriented the wrong direction (or right direction?) and the back of the knife quickly followed the point.  My only injury was a small puncture wound.  I was, you may imagine, quite relieved.

I now have a small bandage covering my cooking wound.  Maybe I can get Cora to wait on me hand and foot due to my injury??

1 comment:

Grandma L said...

I may be a bit strange, but I think there are little unseen demon's that do things such as jumping off the counter and stabbing you on the top of the foot. I think your expletive was in perfect order. Anyway, I hope you are recovering from the wound by now.