Friday, February 26, 2010


I sold seven books today!  I was amazed at my luck.  Here is a preview of some of the Transportation Coloring Book.

I started the day with subbing at that third district I so rarely sub at.  I think I have been there five or six times.  The first time I subbed I managed to make two young girls my biggest fans.  I am not even sure how I did it exactly, except to accuse them of being trouble makers when they obviously weren't.  They thought it was the funniest thing since...well, High School the Musical, I guess.  I could not even remember their names this morning.

I did not have them in class.  I finished the first period and sent my first class out.  all of a sudden one of them burst through the door and ran toward me like we were old friends.  I smiled and said hello.  She said, "I'm gonna tell Rachel you're here!"  Before she left, I asked how she knew I was here.  She said, "I heard others talking about you!"  WTH?  Apparently I could be a stand up comic for middle schoolers.  I had a good day and my classes were remarkably well mannered.  I butchered a couple names and got away with it.  As long as you are funny, you'd be amazed what you can get away with.

So, every time the bell rang, one or both of those two girls would burst through the door and say, "Hi!" and, "How are you!" and then, "I gotta go to class, I'll be back!"  And each time, they did.  I finally gave them coloring sheets.  I wasn't sure exactly what they wanted me to say, but they seemed happy to have me talk to them while I was trying to figure out what to get ready for the next class.  They would expound on how awesome a teacher I am to all the other kids on the way out.  Frankly it was kind of nice, but funny, too.

I am not sure if it stems from the way I usually introduce myself to a class that's never had me or what.  I start by telling them my name, making sure to pronounce the "U" in my name.  Then I tell them they can also call me Mr. H, Mr. Awesome, or Oh Great One.  I then mention that I try to have my wife call me Mr. Wonderful, but my wife is of unusually narrow-minded.  They laugh about that.  Yeah, I'm telling you, if all audiences were made of middle schoolers, I wouldn't have to teach, I could be a comic.

On my way out for the day, I mentioned our coloring books to the secretary and she bought 4.  Right there and then, for her grandkids.  Then I left for the El (MX for those of you wondering) to pick up a payment for a book I sold yesterday.

Before I got there, I stopped for the mail.  I was beginning to back out (very slowly) when a truck rounded the corner and then had to swing wide because I was in his way.  He kind of pissed me off.  I ended up following him to the El.  He stopped and got out.  I glared at him.  I pulled into a spot and walked by him at the entrance and ignored him.  I went in and sold another book.  Then collected what I needed and came back to the office.  There the wonderful secretary was holding court and signing a child out.  The guy who tried to ram his truck into mine was there.  The secretary (best in the world) said, you should buy one of these for your daughter!  This guy here has drawn all of these!  The guy could not very well get away without buying one for his daughter right there.  I chuckled after he left and after I thanked him profusely.  I explained to the secretary how he had driven.  She just laughed and figured it was only fair.

Another lady came in for her child and the secretary sold another for me.  I had to work for this one, though.  Apparently the lady had adopted.  However she wanted to know why we chose international adoption, and I could see from her body language she was getting ready to deliver a sermon.  (I admit, I follow the pack usually, whatever is easiest.  I did here, too.  For, instead of telling her it wasn't any of her damned business, I decided to try to explain, without going into too much detail, why we chose.)  It did not help that the ever helpful secretary decided she should say, "That's a fair question."  I gritted my teeth and attempted to explain for this woman who had adopted domestically why we have chosen to adopt internationally.  I think my attempt at a friendly explanation worked and she was visibly calmed.  She thanked me for explaining and held onto her coloring book.  I was glad I had handled a rather personal and delicate situation with seeming tact.

I left for town in elevated spirits.  I bought wine and some ingredients for dinner.  We had stir-fried beef and asparagus with ginger and garlic.  It was a pretty good dinner.  Now we are watching the last vestiges of the Olympics.  Speed skating is amazingly addicting.  I was leaning in my chair with them every time they went through a turn.

Glad it's the weekend!


ccd said...

funny man

Grandma L said...

O wonderful one! you are a great salesman !!!