Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Ah...An Idiot By Any Other Name...

is still an idiot.

I worked with the district idiot today. I am certain that all businesses have their share of idiots, but ours is particularly sinister.

He is, underneath it all, a decent guy. Really...I am fairly certain of this. He offers to help with no hint that he expects a return. However, he tends to deliver monologues of mispronounced, mal-reasoned diatribes attempting to foment mistrust of liberals. His idea of satanic worshippers would be a group of Democrats. He lives to listen to Rush Limbaugh. He attempts to emulate Rush's arguments, however, his mispronunciations and obvious lack of knowledge provides for some entertainment. If Rush did not say it...well, you are wrong.

For a time we kept track of his mispronunciations and "new" words. I think we even had some of them written down. I can only remember their gist, however. The ones I DO remember are here: Spermacise: The fertilization of fish eggs by fish and wild life persons, however, he supposes all you have to do is have a bucket of fish eggs and fish sperm...and stir them together...presto! BABY FISH! Bat Out of Fire: Apparently a bastardization of bat out of hell. Still, it's interesting.

Last week he said something about a "tale boat." I assume he was talking about a boat that uses the wind for propulsion. Today, he butchered the English language so badly I simply had to leave. His arguments are circular and his logic is skewed. His facts...well, they don't seem to be what others would agree are facts.

Last week he walked into a room, occupied by men discussing the next step in an arduous day, and stated, "The Democrats have done it again!" I left the room. I imagine the others circled him with the intention of strangling him...it didn't happen...but I imagine it.

Another down side to him, is his apparent lack of personal hygiene. He smells. BAD. Ughh!

So, today he showed up and helped me and Twinky move some pallets...then he pushed himself into the cab of the truck and sat his odiforous body within smelling distance of both of us. UGH!! "I'll help you guys! No one else wants me." this said with a straight face...because NO ONE wants him!! ARGH!!!!

Fortunately, all bad days must come to an end!

Ah, tomorrow has to be better!

1 comment:

Cora said...

sounds like he is related to George W.