Come the 7th

On February 7th, 1951, my father was born.  He graduated high school 18 years later and was married in 1972.  In 1974, I was born.  In 1979, my sister was born.  I gotta say, good job Dad!

Of course, the 7th isn't until this weekend.  In the meantime I will have to toil in the schools, bringing innocent children an education.  I'd like to give you a vision of what my day was like yesterday.

Middle school.  I was giving a test.  At one point a boy issued a threat along the lines of, "I'll kill you."  I rolled my eyes and told him he didn't mean that.  I explained we need to be careful about the language we use.  He reiterated that that was indeed the word he wanted to use.  I then explained to him why he was heading off to the office to talk to the Vice Principal.

Another boy, out of nowhere decided that throwing an eraser across the room was a good idea.  He hit another boy in the ear with it and his classmates gave him away.  I sent him to the office, I assume to discuss ballistics.

A girl came up and needed to go print something in the library.  I had no problem with that.  I said, "I'll write you a note."  I started to write on a post it, "So-and-so needs to print out a-"  and she sighed and said, "Jeez, do you really need to write so much?"  I looked up into her beady little preteen eyes and said, "No," ripped up the note, and told her to go back to her desk.

Obviously, I did not have the best students.  In fact, there were times I was a little surprised that these kids had worked their way up to sixth grade.

Today, I get to teach English at a High School. I suspect it will be better.

Weekend Bites the Dust

I remember a Queen song from the early eighties, it went "Another one bites the dust..." I also remember my cousins running that song backwards and hearing it say something that may have sounded like: Wah-shmoo-schna-Smoke Marijuana, or it could have been Was-smoo-sna-smo-kee-mar-eewa-nana...either way it was spooky shit for a nine year old. Of course, I digress. Yet, the idea of the weekend biting the dust, a phrase usually describing something dying without a spark of hope, totally fits the end of this weekend.

Where did it go? I could tell you what we've done. I could explain in excruciating detail, and yet, you might ask, "why didn't that take longer?" Hell, I'd ask the same question...wait, I AM asking the same question. Where the hell did it go? REALLY!! It doesn't seem like we spent any time on anything!

Cora did the taxes and started the process of renewing our immigration documents and home study...both of those were depressing. Basically: before doing taxes and the home study renewal, we thought we were poor and had no money to spend, but now there's no doubt. Like Cora said, Yea US!

We went to the tri-cities today to return something to a store down there. Also we got to visit with her sister and brother-in-law. I got some time in the book store and she got to walk through the mall with her sis. As usual, the tri-cities was sunny and warm...at least compared to our little piece of heaven.

Still, the weekend went WAY too fast. Tomorrow, I get to teach middle-schoolers again. I will be giving out tests tomorrow. I just hope that one of them does eat another's hair. That's what happened Friday. Without getting into specifics, let's just say it was a mildly uncomfortable experience for everyone, except the hair-eating child, who seemed to think there was nothing unusual about that.

In fact, the child indicated that the hair from that particular classmate tasted really good. One assumes the hair-eating child has done some research into who's hair tastes best. I still prefer not to give any credence to this research as it may be unethical...no use giving support to those without ethics.

On that note, I leave you to ponder the nutrition of human hair.

Challenges

I got the opportunity to teach high school today. It was math. I am pretty much useless in anything above algebra, so I was happy when most of the classes simply began working quietly. Sure there was a low buz around the room, but most seemed to be on task, so I let it go.

At one point, though, one of the kids asked me why I did not have a better grasp of math. I said that I chose history for its remarkable, and, honestly, noble lack of higher math.

He wanted to know how much history I knew. He wanted to ask me a question about history. I usually tell kids that history is such a big subject that it keeps us historians humble. We can only KNOW a very small portion of history, and even then, it is a relatively loose "KNOW." I went ahead and played ball though, figuring, how much can a high schooler know? If I were a betting man, I would have cleaned the table. He asked me a simple one. "How did WWI begin?" Of course, my "simple" might not be everyone else's "simple." Obviously, the political, economic, and social underpinnings of WWI were very complicated, but in a nutshell, I handed him a simple narrative, which he took wide-eyed. He said, "We just talked about it in class this morning...and you got it!!" I should hope so, I have been in school long enough. Also, I read that stuff for fun. Kinda like shooting fish in a barrel...with a 16" naval gun...can't miss.

I had some time to look on-line while they did their work. I got a job for tomorrow and am filled up for the week now. I also read a fun short book on-line about the Chrysler plant and it's role in aircraft engine production during WWII...hmmm, obviously I AM a hardcore historian, if that's fun.

I got home and collapsed in my chair for an hour...I think I am in the midst of a cold. Of course, my colds only truly show themselves at night. I caught this one in the act and have been hitting it with Airborne vitamins and have found some cold meds that help. I always have trouble sleeping with a cold, no matter how good I feel during the day. Last night, I woke up about 45 minutes after going to bed. Could not sleep. I was experiencing drainage...probably more than you want to know. Still, I took another dose of cold meds and was able to get back to sleep by 330AM. Six O'clock came WAYYYYYY too early. Tonight I have sore muscles and my sinuses seem to be filling with viscous fluid...perhaps the consistency of molasses...maybe cold honey, but without the sweets. Oh, the joys of teaching!

Teaching

Yesterday I taught a science class for freshmen, I will not mention which High School it was. They were to watch a movie and take notes. Simple. The movie was Africa, The Serengeti. James Earl Jones narrated it. I enjoyed it. I collected the notes at the end of the period and they went on their way.

The beginning described Herbivores and Carnivores. Here are some of the notes I got, with all of the misspellings and punctuation. Enjoy!

• Hermivares eat plants and do not eat other speices like animals (meat)
• Carnivores eat harnivores like animals the oppsite of the hermivares. they kill to eat.
• Herbavaes eat plants but carnivores eat herbibares.

Remember this movie was about Africa. There were LIONs on the movie, but the following student apparently saw a different movie. To the best of my knowledge there are no tigers anywhere NEAR Africa, so I was mildly surprised to see the next one:

• When an animal is hunted down the male tigar is the first to eat, after that the baby tigars start to feed on them, and when they are down the boltures, and hienas start to feed.

Here are some more about lions. The movie declared that Lions will mate every 25 minutes for three to four days. Day and night, without eating. Some students took more from it than others.

• Lions mate like every 25 minss.
• Lions mate 20 mins, 3-4 times a week to get the female pregnant.
• Lions play with there babies like byiting.

Here are the rest. Enjoy.

• Any kind of herds can run up to 500 miles
• Bigger animals CAN [underlined] be pretty dominant.
• Giraffes dont migrate they feed on organism tha live by their
• Graiffes do not migrant they stay were they come from.
• Monkeys feed of eachother
• Monkeys eat everything they see at the jungle.
• Lepords kill at least 3 people a year [The movie actually mentioned that the village in question had lost three children to leopards in the last month.]

And finally, my favorite:

• Rinos mark there teritory with fluids

Monday Morning Malice, but a Good Day...

I taught at the HS again...finally. I have a certification to teach the older kids, it's nice to get out there and practice teaching that age group. The start of the day was, shall we say, inauspicious.

My first class of the day. A kid comes up and explains he has to have me initial a sheet at the end of the day to prove to whomever that he was good in class. OK...that's not bad, I know him, he'll be fine. I busy myself getting ready. I am talking to kids I know, answering questions, and telling them "NO (they always try to get something out of the sub) ." The bell rings and the kids head for their desks. All of a sudden I see movement where there shouldn't be any, and a binder shoots out into the middle of the floor, trailing loose papers like smoke. There is an angry young man standing over another, issuing, I can only assume, threats to his well-being. As I begin my move toward these two, hoping there will not be any violence, but steeling myself for the event, a larger kid, in front of the abused, stands up and calmly places his hand on the aggressor's chest and gently moves him away. It has such an interesting effect, I almost pause to watch. He does it with no malice, and no obvious effort. The aggressor glances up at him and seems to do the calculations I think all of us are doing. He obviously comes to the same conclusion and goes back to his seat, suddenly less aggressive. I look at him, and simply say the word, "Office." He gathers his books and disappears. I make the call, explaining briefly why he is coming for an office visit, and return to my day.

The rest of the day went well. I endured the screams of my fan club...the kids who call my name out in the hall and want to know who I am teaching for. I answer as I can. Often this is accompanied with one student saying to another, "HAH! I've got him 5th period!" Jeez, it sounds like I am bragging, but I should really take a recording of it...it's a bit embarrassing (inner smile).

After work I went and got groceries. Then we had tacos for dinner. My lovely wife is sitting within reach. Yeah, it's been a good day for me. I can't help but think it's a good day whenever she's around.