A Conversation with Thirteen Year-Old Me.

 2020 Me:  Hey.  So your calculations were correct.  It's 2020 and I'm 46 years old.

1987 Me:  Neat! Are there flying cars?

2020 Me:  Not many, we still drive boring old cars on the roads.

1987 Me: But there ARE flying cars?

2020 Me:  Well, they are developing them, but they've been doing that for years.

1987 Me: BUT THERE ARE FLYING CARS!

2020 Me:  You know?  Stop with the cars.  We have computers in our pockets.

1987 Me:  REALLY!?  I bet you use them to cure cancer and stuff, right?  

2020 Me:  Uhh...no, mostly we play games.  Like the other day I downloaded "Connect 4!"

1987 Me:  Connect 4?  Are you joking?  That's a kid's game.

2020 Me:  I got it for my daughter to play.  

1987 Me:  We have a kid?  How old is she?  She must be 25 years old.

2020 Me:  Ahh...no, she's six, and the other one is eleven.

1987 Me:  We have two kids?  Is one a boy?  

2020 Me:  No, both are girls. 

1987 Me:  Huh.  That sucks.

2020 Me:  Not as much as you think.  Anyway, we can connect to information instantly with these computers in our pockets.

1987 Me:  So, you haven't cured cancer?  What about space?  Do you live in space?

2020 Me:  Stop with the Cancer thing.  No...well, a few people live in space at the International Space Station.

1987 Me: Anyone on the moon yet?  

2020 Me:  Not like, since 1972.

1987 Me:  Do you at least have a cool job?

2020 Me:  I'm a substitute teacher...but we are in the middle of a pandemic, so we are quarantining and I'm out of work.

1987 Me:  Who makes the money? Wait, like the Spanish Flu?

2020 Me:  Yeah, kinda.  My wife is an essential worker and we are scraping by.

1987 Me:  This is beginning to sound disappointing.

2020 Me:  Not as much as you think.  We have streaming TV.

1987 Me:  What's that?  A fishing show?

2020 Me:  No, we can watch whatever we want, movies, TV shows, whatever.

1987 Me: Cool!  What do you watch?

2020 Me: Tiger King...well, that's not a good example.  The Mandalorian...it's a Star Wars TV show.

1987 Me:  You still have Star Wars?

2020 Me:  Yeah, it's classic.  No we have like ten Star Wars movies.  

1987 Me:  Ten?  

2020 Me:  Yeah, Disney bought it and is making money hand over fist.

1987 Me:  What about holograms?

2020 Me:  You mean 3D images?  Not really, but we can use the computers in our pockets to video chat with almost anyone.  Actually we use our phones for that.  Our computers are phones.

1987 Me:  What. The. Heck?  You have phones that are computers in your pockets and you can video chat, like in Blade Runner?

2020 Me:  Kinda...like 2001 Space Odyssey, yeah.  

1987 Me:  That movie I was watching and had to go to bed before I could finish it?  

2020 Me:  Bed times are a bit lax now.  And yeah, that's the one.  Yeah, so like they found a Monolith in Utah.

1987 Me:  Like in the movie?  Was it Aliens?

2020 Me:  No one knows for sure, probably an art installation.  It disappeared, then they found another one in Hungary, and they started showing up all over.

1987 Me:  Aliens?

2020 Me:  Damn it.  you are obsessed.  No, not aliens.

1987 Me:  But you cured cancer?  What do you do all day if you don't have a job?

2020 Me:  Laundry, dishes, and I listen to my book.

1987 Me:  Wait, they have books that read to you?

2020 Me:  Yeah, it's a device called a Kindle, you can download books wirelessly.

1987 Me:  Oh, that's cool.

2020 Me:  Yeah, it is.  But I can watch TV shows on my phone, too.

1987 Me:  So, do you?

2020 Me:  No mostly I just stand in the kitchen listening to my book.  I used to listen to NPR until it was just too depressing.  Trump got voted out of office.  We started Quarantining again.  I learned to make noodles a couple years ago and I made empanadas not too long ago.

1987 Me:  That sounds boring.  Wait, as in Donald Trump?  The rich guy?

2020 Me:  Yeah, turns out he's not as rich as he lets on, and he became president.  But he's got a few screws loose and we voted him out.

1987 Me:  Well, that's good.  

2020 Me:  Yeah, it is.

1987 Me:  Ok.  What about the common cold?  Did you at least cure that?

2020 Me:  No, kid, we wear masks all the time so we don't catch Covid 19.  I've actually been healthier this year because we've been avoiding people.

1987 Me:   does 2020 suck?  

2020 Me:  Yeah.  Yeah, it does.