Feuds

I have been subbing at the El.  I have been enjoying it.  I always enjoy the El, as I feel like I am part of the faculty there.  I don't have a full time job, but I am almost treated as though I do.  The kids all know me and so does the staff.  That recognition was brought home to me the other day when I showed up to work and found several other subs in the building for the day.  I smiled and welcomed them and then made small talk with the secretary and some of the staff.  Then I walked down the hallway with three of the subs.

It is here that my notoriety became apparent.  As we were walking the kids had been allowed to enter the building.  As the flood navigated past us and toward us from different directions, many of the kids could be heard to holler, "Hello Mr. H!!"  and I received more than a few run-by hugs and high-fives.  It wasn't out of the ordinary for me, but I noticed that the other subs received no such welcome.  Of course, I HAVE been subbing for three years now...won't some history teacher please just retire?  I'd like to have my own classes already!  Ah, well.  I enjoy the perks I have being among the few subs the kids remember and like.

Among the perks is the feud that began this year.  It started with me noticing a mark on a teacher's face.  I was unaware at the time, but she is apparently known for walking around with things on her face that she is unaware of.  I called her attention to it.  She explained that that happens often, and that she thought I was joking.  I don't remember the exact turn of events but one day I realized I had inadvertently opened a can of worms.

A child ran up and told me I had something on my face.  I reacted by rubbing my face.  The child laughed and said that Mrs. K had told her to do it.  (I should probably point out, I might have accidentally done something similar to her shortly before)  So the next time I had a chance (I believe the elapsed time was almost 30 seconds) I dispatched a child on a similar errand.  Since then, I can usually figure on a child telling me I have something on my face during the day.

For awhile I was in way too deep and was losing the battle.  THEN I remembered the power my color sheets have over children.  (Did I mention I am not above bribery?)  I told a bunch of fourth and fifth graders I would supply them with color sheets if they would only tell Mrs. K she had something on her face.  I was amazed at my brilliance!  Soon I was winning.  However, I was finding myself without color sheets when I was approached by the kids.  This week, I remembered to pay for the work I had commissioned.  After paying for previous deeds, I commissioned more!

I was informed by my minions that Mrs. K was mad...which means she is having fun.  She is a great actress.  She is really one of my favorite teachers and she keeps up the ruse, by glaring at me and simply saying my last name in a growl...I find it endearing.  Of course, she does, on occasion break character, but it's much more fun when she's acting.

So, it was a good day, up until I nearly sliced off my own foot.

I came home from work and then went and had two new tires put on my truck.  When I got home, I put together a stir fry.  It was ok, but I got side-tracked and it got a little burned, but it was fair.  As I was putting dinner away, I accidentally moved a towel that my large 10" cutting knife was apparently leaning on.  (did I mention I should improve my poor cooking safety habits?)  I turned away and then heard it start to slide.  I had put my weight on the wrong foot and could not shift fast enough to avoid it.  It clattered to the floor and into my foot. I calmly uttered a quiet expletive that I am only partially convinced the neighbors heard.  I quickly checked to make sure my foot remained attached.  It was.

Unluckily, the knife had slid into my foot point first.  Luckily, however, it was oriented the wrong direction (or right direction?) and the back of the knife quickly followed the point.  My only injury was a small puncture wound.  I was, you may imagine, quite relieved.

I now have a small bandage covering my cooking wound.  Maybe I can get Cora to wait on me hand and foot due to my injury??

MOM! COME HERE!

We went to dinner last week.  During the course of the evening, I felt the urge to relieve myself.  Shortly before I excused myself from the table, I noted a mother and two young sons heading for the restroom.  I gave them a moment and then left the table.

As I neared the restroom, I saw the mother standing outside the door.  Then her older son came out and whispered something in her ear, he looked to be about eight.  As I turned to enter the restroom I heard her tell him, "...Well, of course your tummy is going to hurt when you eat like that..."  I enjoyed a silent chuckle and went about my business, noting, as I did, her youngest son finishing up, he looked like he might be five.  He began to wash his hands.

I finished and went to the sink, only to see the youngest rush to the door and through the partially opened door, loudly whisper to his mom, "Mom!  There's a problem!"

"What is it, hon?"

"Mom, come here!"

"What is it?"

"Mom, just come in here!"

"I can't.  Can't you just tell me what the problem is?"

"MOM!  I can't say, just come in here, it's OK!"

I had washed my hands by now and went to dry my hands, noticing that it was the type that has a sensor that you wave your hand in front of and it gives you a paper towel.  The little motor whirred and spit out paper towel and I dried my hands.

The kid stopped in the middle of asking his mother to come in and looked at me.

Then he looked at my hands.

Then he turned back to his mom and said with finality, "Never mind."  He let the door shut.

I had, by now, grasp his dilemma.  I said, "Here, I'll show you."  So I demonstrated how you wave your hand in front of the sensor and had him try it.  Seeing him working it, I departed.

I whispered to his mother on the way out, "It's an infrared paper towel dispenser.  I showed him how to use it"

She didn't say anything, except, "Thank you," but I could see the realization dawning in her expression of what had made her youngest so perplexed and troubled.

I love watching kids figure things out.

Kinders

The funny thing about today was that it was supposed to be an improvement over yesterday.  See, I had graduated from pre-schoolers to kindergärtners!  I THOUGHT it would be better.  By early afternoon I was missing the pre-schoolers dearly.  But, not before I got a gem from one of the kinders.

The task before them was to color a simple book about the letter S.  (S is for Sun, S is for Socks, S is for snails, On my Blocks!)  I instructed them to use their BEST coloring!

A little girl came up to me and in a conspiratorial whisper, said she REALLY needed to talk to me.  I bent down and she said, "I...I am afraid."

O.K., I've heard this before, I think to myself.  But, I'm game, "What are you afraid of?"

"I'm afraid to use my best coloring.  Because...because..."

"Whyyyyyyyyy?"

"Everybody.  You may not be able to...

"Whaaaaat???"

Ummm, everybody, everybody will not be able to...to..."

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat, Mercedes!  What?"

Won't be able to take it."

OMG, really?  This kid is a gem!  "So, let me get this straight, you don't want to use your BEST coloring because you don't think your classmates-or I, will be able to take it?"

"Uh-huh."

"We will just be so surprised by how good your coloring is that it might be harmful to us?"

"Yeah."  Demure little flutter of eye lashes.

"Really?"

"Yes." In a whisper, and with serious eyes.

I love this kid's ingenuity!  She's a five year old genius!  Still, I must meet the challenge, gotta keep a straight face.  "Well, I think I can handle it.  I'm very experienced in viewing pretty things.  Still, for safety, I promise not to let anyone of the kids see it.  So, will you use your best coloring?"

She thought on that for a moment.  "OK," she said in a whisper.

A while later, I notice she is kneeling on the floor, shielding her color page from the kids every time they walked by, and shifting glances all around.  I ignore it, simply happy that she is coloring."

I sit at the teacher's desk and start some notes for the teacher.  I become aware of a presence.  I look up.  There she is.  "Ahhh, what Mercedes?  Are you done?"

"Yes."

"Can I see it?  Oh my, that IS pretty super!  The sun is yellow!  There is NO white from the paper at all!  Good job!"

"But don't tell my mom or my dad, please."  She said in her continued conspiratorial whisper.

"OK, but you need to do the other pages, alright?"

She headed back to work on it.  I walked around and mentioned that she and several others were doing a good job.  A few minutes later she comes up.  I ask her what.  She says, "I was thinking."  

"AND???" I ask.

"I might like to show the class my color."

"And you think it might be safe?"

"Yes."

"OK, I suppose we could risk it, but we will have to wait until after lunch, is that OK?"

"Yes."

And so it was.  After lunch, which my class was tardy to, she reminded me of my promise.  I introduced her and she said, "This is my color."  Everyone gave it a glance and mumbled something and then looked back to their own colors.  She seemed pleased with herself and They were nonplussed.  No one noticed, and life went on.

I love being a teacher.

Making Kids Cry

When I step into a room full of elementary students, or, for that matter, middle school or high school students, I figure on a few things.  First, I figure there is bound to be a student who is going to be a smart ass.  Second, there is bound to be one who is ultra-helpful.  Third, there tends to be, in any group, that one who gets their feelings hurt very easily.  Over the past few years, I have figured out how to adjust to these student types (I have not done any kind of scientific research on this, and I in no way endorse the following as the appropriate way to handle students)

For the smart ass.  I tend to be fairly quick-witted (especially when compared with grade school kids) and that helps.  I often will take the initiative when I find a smart ass.  Once one is identified, I await their attempt to gain control of a situation.  I am prepared with a quick remark or retort that often puts them in their place without damaging their feelings or their status.  In fact, it often makes me a semi-celebrity with the kids.  It also helps that I don't take things personally.  I figure if I am willing to give kids a bad time, I should expect the same in return.  That does not stop me from expecting respect from them.  You can tease someone and still show them respect.

The ultra-helpful child often tends to be right there in the middle of everything you are trying to do.  They will offer suggestions concerning how their teacher does it.  Often the child will offer their services to do ANYTHING at all.  No matter how much you want to tell the child to "get the heck outta here!" The best way to combat (Sometimes it feels like a fight) the ultra-helpful child is to give them a job.  It makes them happy, gets them out of your hair, and sometimes ACTUALLY helps you!  Often it is as easy as asking if everything has been picked up off the floor or even asking if they can hand out some papers.

The final student type, for today, is the child that cries.  I sometimes get them.  Most children are apt for it, but the best way I have found to prevent it is to announce early on in the day that I don't like kids and I don't consider my work done unless I have made one child cry today.  Usually, the kids ask, "Why'd you became a teacher, then!?"  I counter that I like to torture children and make them cry.  It is at that moment that all children are hardened against any possible occurrence of crying. Of course, they know that I like kids, because they often tell me so.  It doesn't matter how many times I deny it, they kids seem to know I DO like kids.  They take it as a challenge to be tough.  It's a game.

By the end of the day all is well.  The kids go home thinking Mr. H is just a cool substitute, but we all know I have just survived another day!    

 

Macaroni Poo Poo!

There is a blog that Cora and I have been following for a long time (a couple years at least), and I checked in on it tonight and got a great laugh that I could not help but share! Have a look for yourself! It's here. Of course, make sure you come back here, because the ending to this one is a doozy!

Oh, and if you have never read anything from the Bean...well, you may as well go here, but be warned, she is totally R rated! She is hilarious! She expresses her dismay at some (All?) Christmas music. Again, you should probably come back, just because I am awesome.

As most of you know, I am a substitute teacher. Last week, I was checking out for the day at a local school. A teacher, who looked a little frazzled, came in and asked a couple of us subs if we would mind taking a job next week. The other two did not speak up, so I said I was interested. She looked at me appraisingly and apparently made a decision. She said, it's next Thursday. "I have a group of boys who are very hard to manage!" I said that was fine, what grade do you teach? "First."

I tried hard not to roll my eyes.

I said, "Ok." She looked at me as though I might be missing a few marbles from my bag. I again nodded. She came to her decision and asked me for my name, explaining that she would assign it to me. I said ok and left. I did not expect her to assign it to me.

Lo and behold, though, she did.

I showed up this morning after driving at speeds that may have produced sonic booms, but I was travelling ahead of the wave, so I can't verify it. (sometimes I push the departure time)

I walked in the room expecting little people with spray paint cans and guns, but no kids showed any signs of automatic weapons nor tools for tagging. All I saw was first graders. Then the counselor showed up with a very cute little boy, whom she treated as though he were Rosemary's baby. She looked at me as though she may never see me again. I swallowed and asked what was wrong. She said, this little boy does not get to go to recess, instead he comes to be with me. And if you do any fun activities, he should come to me. I raised my eyebrows and she whispered conspiratorially to me that he was a very bad boy. I said ok and she left.

I eyed the kid, he looked like an angel. which, coincidentally, was his NAME! Then I decided to treat him like the rest until he showed his true colors. Having been forewarned of the possibilty of trouble, though, prepared me for the worst. I was a bit more forceful than I normally am. Overall, though, they were a very good class. There were between three and five boys that seemed to feed off each other, but they weren't horrible.

I adapted to them simply by repeating my instructions and separating them from the herd when they mis-behaved. Three of them spent a lot of time in time out. But strangely, it wasn't Rosemary's baby...he had his problems, but I did not see the worst of them today.

Sometime before lunch recess, the Principal came in. The same principal that thought I was the fire marshal. She came in. I was actually acting like a teacher (yeah, lucky, I know!) and paused. She said not to worry, she was just stopping by classes today. I went ahead with the assignment. When she came in there was a child in the corner at the door, and two more evenly spaced around the room, also in "the corner."

A few minutes later, after I ended my "lesson," she walked up and I looked at her questioningly. She said, "I need to talk to you at recess." I looked at her quizzically. She said, "you aren't in trouble." As though she had read my mind, but I am sure it had registered clearly on my face. I said yes and tried to hide my concern...was it all pictures I drew? Did I say something to a kid that was not appropriate? Did they find out about my interest in atomic bombs? The FBI and CIA will be there...but she said I wasn't in trouble. Of course she'd say that to get me into a place where they can arrest me and take me to Guantanamo Bay, Cuba...do they give citizens due process? I just think A-bombs are cool! I was JUST CURIOUS!

So, these are the things I was thinking the entire time. Finally, I send my kids out to recess. Everyone goes, despite the cold temperatures. But just for 15 minutes. Enough time for me to be arrested.

I go in search of the principal. I finally find her, not in her office, but in the lunch room. A quick scan reveals no FBI agents, unless the FBI has been hiring 10 year olds...I automatically scan for Agent Cody Banks...nope, safe.

She is talking to someone...I catch her eye and then go and interact with the fifth grade class I taught a couple weeks ago. Concentrate on looking like a good teacher! She comes up behind me. I tell the kids goodbye.

She simply says, " I have a question for you." I blink. "You sub a lot at elementarys, right?" "Uh, yeah," I answered intelligently, surely that isn't the only question. "In your opinion, is that first grade class worse than other first grade or kindergarten classes you have subbed for?" I blinked again. Wheels start creaking in my head. Pressure releases. Realization dawns...this is about the class...not me. She wasn't working with Homeland Security! PHWEW!

I manage to point out that the main problem seems to be the way the boys interact, and so far my solution of putting them in the corner, removing them from each other, has been working. I'm no genius, but so far I have not really had a bad day. Yeah, they are trouble, but they aren't horrible. She seemed satisfied and I went on my way, no longer watching for government agents.

Suffice it to say, I made it through another day!

Teaching

Yesterday I taught a science class for freshmen, I will not mention which High School it was. They were to watch a movie and take notes. Simple. The movie was Africa, The Serengeti. James Earl Jones narrated it. I enjoyed it. I collected the notes at the end of the period and they went on their way.

The beginning described Herbivores and Carnivores. Here are some of the notes I got, with all of the misspellings and punctuation. Enjoy!

• Hermivares eat plants and do not eat other speices like animals (meat)
• Carnivores eat harnivores like animals the oppsite of the hermivares. they kill to eat.
• Herbavaes eat plants but carnivores eat herbibares.

Remember this movie was about Africa. There were LIONs on the movie, but the following student apparently saw a different movie. To the best of my knowledge there are no tigers anywhere NEAR Africa, so I was mildly surprised to see the next one:

• When an animal is hunted down the male tigar is the first to eat, after that the baby tigars start to feed on them, and when they are down the boltures, and hienas start to feed.

Here are some more about lions. The movie declared that Lions will mate every 25 minutes for three to four days. Day and night, without eating. Some students took more from it than others.

• Lions mate like every 25 minss.
• Lions mate 20 mins, 3-4 times a week to get the female pregnant.
• Lions play with there babies like byiting.

Here are the rest. Enjoy.

• Any kind of herds can run up to 500 miles
• Bigger animals CAN [underlined] be pretty dominant.
• Giraffes dont migrate they feed on organism tha live by their
• Graiffes do not migrant they stay were they come from.
• Monkeys feed of eachother
• Monkeys eat everything they see at the jungle.
• Lepords kill at least 3 people a year [The movie actually mentioned that the village in question had lost three children to leopards in the last month.]

And finally, my favorite:

• Rinos mark there teritory with fluids

Beautiful Darned Day

I had the pleasure of teaching first graders today. I enjoyed it. I usually do. I went through the usual complaints about So-and-So doing this or saying that. "So-and-So said a bad word." "So-and-So has a toy in his backpack!" My usual response, as I have mentioned, is usually half-hearted and semi-commatose. Today at lunch, though, I heard a unique complaint. "Mr. H, Kevin is making fun of himself, and its bothering me." Huh? What the? Ahh, they are so sweet, except for the taddle tales, who are frickin' comedians.

It has been a gorgeous day! Summer-like! It is, as I write this, 73.4 degrees out there! I am wearing shorts! I was going to take a picture of our backyard to show you, but it looks like a dung heap. I will, instead, show you picures I took of something growing out of the dung heap I call a backyard.

Cora liked these so much she suggested printing them out...what do you think?

Kinder Madness Among Others

So, here are a few things I heard today in the kindergarten class I was subbing in:

• I have a rainbow fish at home.
• Aidan is calling me, "dude!" and I don't like it.
• I'm already ready for recess.
• Brenden says L-E-A-V-E-S spells level, but it spells leaves!
• Is it time to go home, yet?

Oh, and here's a gem:

• Child comes up to me and hugs me around my waist without warning. I pry child off, and ask why are you hugging me. "Because I love you." OK, I answer, "Go do your work."
• Same child sneaks up beside me 20 minutes later and begins poking me in the side. I move to avoid this, and ask, why are you poking me? "Because I love you."

Ah, the joy and logic of kinders!

Speaking of logic, I thought I might share some of the keywords people have used to find my blog in the past few months.

• 30 people searched for "Billy Mays must die."
• 13 searched for "Awesomeness is free."
• Aparently 8 people are interested in "Stupid Fish Names."

But lets ignore how many people dislike Billy Mayes, even though I agree wholeheartedly with them. I bet when he writes emails he uses ALL CAPITAL LETTERS! AND !EXCLAMATION!! POINTS!!!! I don't think I would want him s a friend...unless he was handing out cash, and even then, I would be forced to ask him to use his "inside voice." Let's take a look at some of the slightly less mainstream items that somehow brought up my site:

• Peanut Jeff-fa-fa

I gues I am not the only one who likes Dunham.

• Fresh turkey smell

Really, on my blog?

• Husband cuts my hair

I am happy for her, but why is she searching for that?

• A fresh turkey will smell

It will? Why are you searching for this if you are so sure? And what will it be sniffing for? Food?

• A loss for words

Me too.

• Are Mondays good days

I guess it depends on whether you work or not. You wouldn't be asking if you did.

• Baby name smart dorky ansel

Now that's going to be one confused kid.

• Cat scissor cut accidental

Hah! I am not the only one!!

• Hey baby you wanna oxi clean my kaboom

Now, I think you are talking dirty to Billy Mays...

• Grandma Movies

Or...maybe grandmothers...

• How much plutonium 235 was in fat baby

Ok, dude, did you know that Plutonium bombs use Pu-241? It's also Uranium 235 they use in bombs...and did you also know that the bomb was called Fat Man and the other was Little Boy! Further, just because a baby is portly, why do you think he is full of heavy radioactive metal?

• I wish billy mays would shut up

Me too!

• Love is disappointmet haunted all of my dreams

What? Is that supposed to be lyrics of a song?

• Thoroughly Thinking

I'm glad someone is.

• Turkey fresh smell

The NEW GLADE scent!

• Wine glass dish tip

For what?

• Wish wedding never happened

Probably because you were asking for wine glass dish tips. He obviously realized you were an idiot.

So, there you have it. I'm out of stuff to say...well, that's not true, but I gotta go do stuff.

Wednesday Salad Day

So, I enjoyed the first day of three at the intermediate school. I spent some time with the sixth grade teachers, who continue to like me...weird. I also watched over a couple advanced classes. One was to do a report on Greek Gods. They were doing research on the internet. It turns out my main job was to prevent them from printing any untoward pictures...which, remarkably, is NOT AT ALL easy when one is given the subject of ancient Greek Gods...can anyone picture them with clothes on? Please!?! Well, apparently NO ONE draws them that way!

They were sixth graders. They were my sixth graders, so they were cool about it. Not one of them tried to get anything past me. They were supposed to ask me to look at what they were printing, and they did. One was having difficulty with the goddess Artemis. Apparently it is difficult to find her with any clothes on. Personally, I find it difficult to believe it possible to shoot a bow and arrow with bare boobs without taking off a nipple...honestly, I don't think it's possible. Think about it!

Another student wanted to change gods when she discovered how complicated it would be to draw Hestia's family tree. For those of you who are Americans a few years out of school, or anyone else who does not have a degree in Classical Greece, the family tree is somewhat convoluted. Hestia's grandmother was also her great grandmother, and her son fathered the Titans with her, from which came the bother and sister couple who fathered Hestia. The girl called me over to ask how the first thing could happen. I said, "In Greek Mythology, that happened all the time." She gave a look like it was difficult for her to fathom incest...a word I inadvertently introduced her to...and I left her puzzling over how to put this in her report. A few minutes later she asked me, sheepishly, if she could choose a different god. I laughed and told her she could and I didn't blame her.

After work, I went to town and bought salad goodies. I MEAN SALAD GOODIES!! I got Zuichini, Cukes, Tomatoes, Onions, Carrots, Green Onions, Celery, Red Cabbage, Green Leaf Lettuce, Spinach...and then I used peas, bacon, feta, and Chicken to add to it. Our dressing was a personal concoction involving an orange, balsmic vinegar, olive oil, a touch of wine, and some other secret ingredients. It was...acceptable...ok, it was just plain yummy! We haven't had Salad for awhile.

Kids These Days

Why is it people think that a teacher can tell them whether the curriculum has been "dumbed" down? Why is it, if you are a teacher, you are suddenly, and magically, aware of the whys and wherefores of the curriculum? Why do people give you that knowing look, like, "it was harder in school when I was young, and by god, we got spankings when we screwed up!" "These kids are soft these days!" Well, let me tell you people a few things. ( and don't get all butt hurt, because it was not anyone who reads my blog, I am just blowing some steam. And forgive me if the thought stream is disjointed, I tend to digress.)

I became a teacher because I trully love history. I think it is the best pastime anyone could take up. However, once I got out into the schools, I found that I genuinely like the kids, too. Yes, almost all of them. The kids are mirrors of their parents, though. The ones that are assholes in the classroom usually go home to spend time with assholes at night. You can usually tell what kind of home life they have and, further, you can tell what value they place on education.

I have been placed in a position of trust. The district trusts me to do what is right for the kids. The kids won't automatically trust a new teacher, they are going to sound him out. Is he tough? Funny? Weird? Going to let me get away with murder? Once the teacher has passed the test of at least some of the kids, they are willing to take from the word of others that this teacher is decent and worthy of trust. Mind you the kids are an easy lot to please, so someone that numerous kids don't care for, is probably not wonderful. (Still, everyone has had a teacher they could not stand)



I trust the kids to do as they are told. I trust them to answer to my authority, which is just this thin strand of reason that has magiclly been draped over them...it could break at any moment. I am not their prents. If they misbehave, I am not going to beat them. In fact, there is little I can do. Well, nothing. So, the way I get things done is by using the hegemony that has been set up, by making them want to do things, and using their need to please against them. Closing options when possible to make my preferred option seem the best path, things like that. It is a game of social display, psychology, and public relations.



It is difficult, but the kids are, at heart, good. There are usually 20 kids that are vying for attention or recognition of either me or their peers. Every class is different. Every kid is different. Each and every one of them is operating under some need that they want fulfilled right now. Hopefully they want to please you and some learning accidentally happens, but that is not the norm. I am amazed, even watching the most experienced teachers, how ANY learning gets done at times. It's a slow process. Teachers have their hands tied, but fortunately, the kids I have run into are pretty good.

I did not get the majority of my history knowledge from school. I got it after I left school. I got the majority of my values of liberty and education from college, though. My history knowledge came from home. I read. It's important to want it, yourself. If I had a book, like a science fiction book to read for fun, I also had a history book that I also read for fun.

So, are the kids dumber today? Maybe they don't know dates by rote, but they can use a cell phone and it's many options...could you have done that back in 1983? Me neither. They can also look up an answer in a pinch. They are not bad kids. They are not stupid kids. They are simply different kids under different conditions. So, kindly, don't ask me about what's wrong with the kids these days. I like 'em.

For The Record

For the record, I am fond of people who are fond of me. Just seems to be a good way to do business.




Today, I taught last year's third graders. They are...most of them...fourth graders. Actually, there were only a few I had taught with any consistency in the class I was teaching today. Still, those who had had me seemed to spread the word without my help. They said, "he is a cool sub." They also said things like, "He is funny," and a few even called me their little name for me, a hold over from music class: "Mr. Bobble Head." Seems I might have done that thing that women of color sometimes do on TV when they say, "I don't think so..." with their hand in front of your face, wiggling their finger. You know, when their head goes sideways on their neck, back and forth. I have been known to do such things in my best imitation of said women. I may have done it on more than one occasion in music class last year. Oh, well, there are worse things to be called. It was a good day..and I have actually been more assertive this year. The kids are doing what I ask and I am more certain of myself. I am also more likely to kick their little asses out to the hallway, principal, or detention if they piss me off. Sometimes it is fun being a bad ass.


Since the US Government decided they need our fingerprints...AGAIN, I needed to inform the teacher that asked me to sub for her that I might not be on time. School starts at 840am. Our appointment for the USCIS is at 8am. I think I can be back to school by sometime around 9 or 930. So they should not be without Mr. H for too long. Still, I wanted to be sure the teacher (SPED) would still want me if I were to be late.



She said she would rather work with me than have another sub...did I mention this is the teacher than had me come in for ice cream a couple weeks ago? WHILE I WAS MOWING LAWN. Yeah, she seems to be fond of me. I cannot imagine the other subs are worse than I am. All I do is interact with the kids like they are humans or something...apparently the other subs think they can hide behind the desk and call out to the parapros to do the job for them. I know the paras prefer me. Funny how a little extra work makes such a difference. She also mentioned that she had taken a full day instead of a half day because she knew I prefer to take full days. Cool, that means I will still get the full day's pay even though I am a bit late. That also means I have been doing something right if they want to work WITH me, instead of let me go.



I got another bill from the college. They only want $40 now. I managed to sweet talk them into taking most of it off since I was a loser and was not ready for my Master's test before August 15th. Now, I need to figure out if I should try to finsh my Master's this quarter or Winter. Given our luck with adoptions, no matter what I choose, we will be leaving in the midst of it and I will be out several thousand dollars for attempting and not obtaining a Master's. Figures. Besides, it is amazingly difficult to take the time and make sense out of books while you are employed and attempting to do all the things a grown up does.



Does anyone else remember Tom Selleck in Mgnum P.I.? I do and I think of it everytime I see a picture of this helicopter...

So, here is a challenge to my pathetically small number of devotees! What is the aircraft pictured below? Leave it in the comments.

Never Left The Ground

My sister, Brother-in-Law, Niece and Nephews all came up this morning! We had so much fun that they stayed most of the day! Wii played games on the Wii and the XBox. We read the kids stories! We held the baby and just hung out. Toward the end of the day we were having some pretty competetive Wii games. I also got to play Halo with my sister and Bro-in-law. I have been wanting to play one on one Halo with them for years! (Really, years. We have had the XBox for four years! And ever since we got it I wanted to shoot my sister...well, in the game, I am really quite fond of my sister) I know that this was the first time they had picked up an XBox controller, but I beat them! Both. I got Scott with a sniper bullet, and my sister with a few grenades! Of course, Scott gave as good as he got...given a little while longer getting the hang of the controls, he would havesoon been wiping the screen with my body. I am lucky that the girls decided to play Wii again.

This is Emma posing for the Camera.

Carrie, Scott! Thanks for coming up! We both enjoyed you and the kids! The ice cream...the ice cream was AWESOME! Homemade and rich. The best! Cora had made some raspberry topping a few weeks ago, and we all had some on our ice cream! We need to get together with family more often! (Everyone loved the Ice Cream, see? Eli is serious about his food.)

The youngest member of the family, David, is almost as much of a poser as his sister!

On the down side, I did miss my flight. I wanted to go fly, but we just kept having so much fun and then I noticed the time. I realized things just might not work out. I called my good friend the electrician and he seemed to understand. Hopefully we can reschedule! I really am happy that he gave me a chance to fly, even though I didn't get to.

We let the kids watch "Signing Time."

At the risk of sounding corny, We flew high today, but never left the ground!

Happy Fourth of July

Happy Independence Day! I trust everyone is observing it because we are no longer a colony of Britain and not just having fun because they got a day off. Well, I am JUST HAPPY TO HAVE A DAY OFF! Ha, you thought I was going to berate you for not observing the holiday! Well, you can do that from your front porch…see, there’s fireworks!

How would they say it in Mexico? Feliz Quatro de Julio? Well, Iam unsure of how to write or say July in spanish...I guess that's as good as it gets!

It has been hot all week. This morning…it rains. Even now, the rain is coming down. I like it. I have the windows open and am enjoying the rainy smelling breeze. The dog does not enjoy it so much, he poked his head out the dog door and then looked at me as if to say “Can’t I pee inside today?” I told him to go on out. He did, but you could tell he doesn’t enjoy getting wet, unless it’s under his terms.

I have been meaning to share some pictures of my perfect little niece and nephews. First, I have to show you all one of my favorite pictures of her…showing her in my jacket and with an angelic little halo. It has been a few years since I took it, but isn’t she darling?

And then, one day last fall, my sister and brother-in-law decided to buy a van. They asked if we would mind watching the kids for a while…Well, I have a hard time turning down a chance to see my favorite niece and nephew any day, so OF COURSE! We took the kids to the park…I got these excellent pictures. And, because of the colors, I think they are perfect for the Fourth of July. Happy Independence Day!

My Niece could not decide which direction to fly, so she went both ways in turn...I think she was a little wound up...

Cora liked this one so much she used Adobe Photoshop on it, I think it turned out well!