St. Patrick's Day!

Well, thus far, my luck in searching for the daily job search is unsuccessful.  Often, more often then not, actually, I have my job lined up well ahead of time.  Of course there are some days that seem to strain my patience.  On those days I stay up late and then get up extra early (today, 5am) just to sit in front of the computer and wait to find a job.  So, that is one of the down sides to being a substitute.  The other, of course, is a lack of employer provided benefits.    

Perhaps, I need a little of the luck of the Irish.  Many of my students have suggested my red beard is a sign of Irish heritage.  I have, in turn, suggested that they get back to work, and stop staring at my facial hair.  It seems my suggestions are often followed by chuckles and laughs, thereby creating more of an interruption than the original comment...damn my smart mouth.

I got my teeth cleaned yesterday.  It was relatively painless.  I did manage to sell several coloring books yesterday; two at the dentist.  I was amused to see one go to the Principal at one of the elementarys.  He assured me he was getting it for himself and no one else...I hope to see his efforts in our gallery!  It's so fun to see who buys them and why.  I had a student (I don't sell to students as a rule) demand one, and I relented only after she had admitted to going home and discussing it with her mother (Her mother told her it was her money).  II don't think she would have taken no for an answer, anyway.  Cora's grandmother bought one, expecting to give it to a child she knows, but ended up buying some crayons and working on it herself!  Now THAT's a compliment to the book.  I don't think my drawings are as accurate or as smoothly drawn as a computer can do, or creative as graphic artists, but maybe that's why people like them...they are real.  Whatever the reason, it makes me happy that my drawings are making so many other people happy!

So, this is St. Patrick's Day (as the title suggests) and I have an inkling of what we might be eating tonight...Corned beef!  And Cabbage...and Guinness.  Especially if I have the day off, though I would prefer not to, it would make boiling it for a couple hours much easier on dinner time.  The last few evenings we have looked at the clock in disbelief!  How can it be that late already?  Stupid daylight savings.

Well, I suppose I had better make a cup of coffee for those about to return to the land of the conscious...also, it's time to refill my own cup.  Don't forget to wear green.

Making Kids Cry

When I step into a room full of elementary students, or, for that matter, middle school or high school students, I figure on a few things.  First, I figure there is bound to be a student who is going to be a smart ass.  Second, there is bound to be one who is ultra-helpful.  Third, there tends to be, in any group, that one who gets their feelings hurt very easily.  Over the past few years, I have figured out how to adjust to these student types (I have not done any kind of scientific research on this, and I in no way endorse the following as the appropriate way to handle students)

For the smart ass.  I tend to be fairly quick-witted (especially when compared with grade school kids) and that helps.  I often will take the initiative when I find a smart ass.  Once one is identified, I await their attempt to gain control of a situation.  I am prepared with a quick remark or retort that often puts them in their place without damaging their feelings or their status.  In fact, it often makes me a semi-celebrity with the kids.  It also helps that I don't take things personally.  I figure if I am willing to give kids a bad time, I should expect the same in return.  That does not stop me from expecting respect from them.  You can tease someone and still show them respect.

The ultra-helpful child often tends to be right there in the middle of everything you are trying to do.  They will offer suggestions concerning how their teacher does it.  Often the child will offer their services to do ANYTHING at all.  No matter how much you want to tell the child to "get the heck outta here!" The best way to combat (Sometimes it feels like a fight) the ultra-helpful child is to give them a job.  It makes them happy, gets them out of your hair, and sometimes ACTUALLY helps you!  Often it is as easy as asking if everything has been picked up off the floor or even asking if they can hand out some papers.

The final student type, for today, is the child that cries.  I sometimes get them.  Most children are apt for it, but the best way I have found to prevent it is to announce early on in the day that I don't like kids and I don't consider my work done unless I have made one child cry today.  Usually, the kids ask, "Why'd you became a teacher, then!?"  I counter that I like to torture children and make them cry.  It is at that moment that all children are hardened against any possible occurrence of crying. Of course, they know that I like kids, because they often tell me so.  It doesn't matter how many times I deny it, they kids seem to know I DO like kids.  They take it as a challenge to be tough.  It's a game.

By the end of the day all is well.  The kids go home thinking Mr. H is just a cool substitute, but we all know I have just survived another day!    

 

Kinder Friday Blues

I love being a substitute...which would be fine if they paid benefits and a bit more to the check, but some days...well, I think I earn the weekend.

Yesterday, I had my delightful 1st grade class. Today was a kinder class. They weren't bad, but the directions were awful. Or maybe the teacher was unprepared. There were supposed to be several items available for the kids to do, but they turned out to be non-existent. The reading was out of a teacher's manual, which turns out to be so scripted as to make a normal person gag. I prefer to get the gist of what it says and wing it. Even the kids catch on to how bad it is. They get bored and the best way to keep their attention is to do it how I do it...at least in my experience. There may be teachers out there so well versed in reading a script for the first time that they do it perfectly. I am not. I got through it with a minimum of pain, though.

The para kind of took over at the end, which was fine with me, since she seemed to have the finer points down with no problem.

She left and I was alone for math...except for a teenage helper from the high school who came in during math time to apparently tear out the sheets I needed for math. When I looked to her in askance of whether she knew where any math sheets might be, she registered confusion. I then improvised and using my massive intellect began to teach the kids how to add numbers that added up to be "teen numbers." Glad they weren't 5th graders! The "helpful" student helper left after doing whatever she was supposed to do. I wandered over and noticed a stack of math sheets that had not been there before...I suspect her job was to take these out of books. Why she did not inform me that she was working on such a thing was beyond me, but I lost no time handing out the paper...my pathetic, though artful, attempts to teach mathematics died under the dry erase eraser.

They weren't a bad class. I think because of the plans, though, they were a higher maintenance class than they had to be.

After school, I made a bee line for the nearest Safeway for a six pack...of wine. I also got a pizza for dinner...vegetarian with Chicken and Bacon. despite your comments, it is the only way to get enough vegetables on your pizza.

We have a birthday party to attend tomorrow! My first nephew turns four tomorrow! It should be fun! I can't wait to see what my sister has planned. I know it will be fun.

December 7th, Monday Morning Blues

Well, sixty-eight years ago, in the early morning hours, on a Sunday, the residents of Pearl City, Oahu, a small town at the northern end of Pearl Harbor, were shook from their beds by the rumbling and buzzing of an air raid. It wasn't the first time that Army bombers had buzzed the island, but it WAS the first time that the aircraft were not American.

In the ensuing mayhem, as the word got out, and numerous Japanese fighters peeled off from the main force to go sight seeing and shooting, and the columns of smoke began to soar upward, it became obvious that this was not going to be your average Sunday. How many residents woke up that morning with the realization that many in the world would remember this day 70 years on?

Many of us have heard the stories of the sailors. A few of us, those enamored with History, know of the stories of a few civilians. But, really, what was it like to experience it from a civilian's prospective? There, obviously, weren't quite as many explosions in the towns and cities of Oahu, as there were at the Navy Yard and various Army Air Fields. Still, when the US Navy DID get around to shooting back, and they did so surprisingly fast, the shells that went up to find enemy aircraft, but weren't lucky, had to come back down. A lot of the damage suffered by civilians had to do with anti-aircraft shells of varying sizes falling back to earth. Of course, that only held true for those cities nearest the action.

If you want to read about how it was to be here in the Lower 48 that day, please go on over to Grandma's blog and see how she spent that day and the days after. Her brother was present for the attack, and she is a great writer.

So, how many of those days that-will-always-be-remembered have happened? A fair few, I suppose. People discuss Pearl Harbor, JFKs assassination, 9/11, and people before them discussed the day Lincoln was assassinated, but what about the others? How about the day Martin Luther King, jr. was shot? Or the days in October 1962, when missiles were discovered in Cuba? How about The day Mount St. Helens blew her top? Or how about when the Challenger blew up? Or when the Soviet Nuclear Power Plant at Chernobyl melted down? Or the day of the earthquake in San Francisco(it happened in 1988, I have relatively clear memories of that)? Or the day the Wall came down in Berlin? Or the day that the day that the world pulled together to push Iraqi forces out of Kuwait? How about the day the Shuttle Columbia came back to earth in pieces? Do these days pale in comparison to December 7 and September 11?

I suppose that the main difference between the attack on December 7 and September 11 is the one was a military target. The other was a civilian target.

Still, today is December 7, 2009, and I hope we all take a moment to look back and remember the men who died, not just in WWII or at Pearl Harbor, though, they doubtless deserve some attention, but also the men who served their country and died in all the wars, declared and undeclared. It might be nice to remember this continues today. Think about the men who at this moment are packing their ruck sacks and kissing their loved ones good bye, getting ready to go off to foreign lands and serve with honor. This may not be Veterans' Day, but there is no need to have a DAY to remember those who give and gave their all.

So, it is, with such thoughts, that I sit waiting to find a job on Monday morning. The dull gray screens to the substitute sites glare back at me though. Silently telling me there are "No current openings." I am hoping to hear the phone ring. But as the clock edges toward 7am, my chances begin to slim. I may be spending the day at the house, cleaning and staying warm. The temperature outside is about 15 degrees.

Maybe I could paint a painting and post it on Cora's blanket blog and try to sell that to earn money for the adoption...though, I have a few paintings that have not yet been purchased. Still, if you are looking for a gift for that special person, go on over to Cora's Blanket Blog, where she sells baby blankets, children's dresses, and my paintings. We also are selling "That's My Pan" personalized pans and kitchen utensils.

Well, since it looks like I won't be subbing, I guess I will spend the day with the History Channel on and cleaning. I hope your day goes better!

UPDATE: I may be subbing today after all!

Sub Work

I have had two days off. Not on purpose. Apparently, some people have not been calling in for subs. Let me just say, I am against teachers going to work sick. I think as soon as they get a sniffle, they should call ME! After all, they could spread things like the swine flu and bird flu...and lion flu...and elephant flu! Oh, teachers! You should call in sick and request me for your sub! The children of the world beg of you! Just as a precaution!!

Monday, after staying up late Sunday night watching for jobs, I got up again at 5am...yes, 5am. And I sat next to the computer watching the sub-site. NOTHING! Again on Monday night and Tuesday morning...NOTHING! OK, People! You have to be sick or something!

On the bright side, I got shit done around the house.

Today, I worked. For a very short time, I worked. I found a half-day. And, by gawd, I took it! I don't usually take 1/2 days...but given the previous two days, I took it. I had three classes, of which, only two could have realistically been called classes. Still, I got paid for it. I got home a little after 11am. It made the day last forEVER!!!

I began signing up with another district, since sub-jobs are coming slow. Turns out it's been over two years since I last had my fingerprints taken by the state for education...we don't include the innumerable times I have had my prints taken for the adoption...apparently being o.k.'d by the FBI, CIA, State Police, county sheriff, and city police for adopting a child from another country doesn't work for the department of education. They need a special type of finger print! I suppose I shouldn't be all down on it, since it IS looking out for our children...and someday I might have a child to worry about. Still, did you know the price for renewing your prints with the Dept. of Ed is something along the lines of $75???? That's almost 3/4 of a day for me! I am running out of money, that's why I want to work for a different school district! Come on!

So, apart from that, there isn't much going on, except the Bishop appears to be coming to the US...in which time our documents will take longer to go through...figures. If he could just bring BB with him, I think I could handle all the other crap! (He's little, he wouldn't take up much space!)

June First

I know that last year was nowhere near as warm as this. As I recall, it was downright chilly...and I was REALLY missing California. This year, though, I am quite happy with the temperatures. I like going out in the yard wearing a minimum of clothing at all hours of the day...what can I say, I feel better the fewer clothes I have on...as long as it's warm. When the temperature is 10 degrees Fahrenheit, you are damned sure going to find me with gloves and a coat on, but when it's warm enough, I like to take advantage of my exothermic properties.

Today, I subbed for a fifth grade teacher. His class was remarkably well behaved. His plans called for me to simply be present and breathing. It was a nice change from the norm. The younger the kids the more the work it seems.

Apparently I was the lucky one, since I ran into a fellow sub late in the day and she was looking a bit frazzled. She said she had gotten there and found NO PLANS. I think I had been requested for that one this morning and was somewhat thankful I had taken this job a month ago. I offered her some coloring sheets, but she said she had some Bill Nye videos to show. "Well, then, you've got it covered!" I then hurried back to my sheltered classroom and closed the door.

One of the kids came up to the desk to ask for help on a SUDOKU puzzle he does for an accelerated class he has. I helped him a few times and then realized that perhaps he was just not taking enough time on it. I told him to go back to his seat and work it out for himself. He sniffled. I told him, "Don't cry." He said he had allergies. I said, "No, you're crying. I made you cry." I then told him and the kids near the desk that I make it a point to make at least one kid cry each day. They looked at me unbelieving, then it dawned on them that I was pulling their legs. The kid said, "No, I have allergies." I reiterated, "No, you're definitely crying. HAH! You made my day!" He laughed and went back to his desk, his classmates having a chuckle with him.

I came home early because they spend the last hour in PE, and I finished everything that was necessary. I took some clothes off the line and relaxed waiting for Cora to come home. Now it is a relaxing evening. Of course, the Air Conditioner is STILL on...love it!

Another Day, nother Dolla'

It would appear, after today's inquisition, that the teachers have not gone on srike against my substitutionary skills. Rather, no one was gone yesterday. I guess I feel a little better...but not much, since that does not enlargen the old pocket book. Still, at least I know they have not called the district on account of my "piece of string" joke (those of you who have heard it will know).

I had a good day subbing in the SPED class at the el. I even came up with a couple more coloring pages. The ladies who work with me suggested I change careers and begin making coloring books...somehow, that does not seem to promise economical freedom from the school district...I appreciate the good will, but, surely there are better artists out there. But, hey, the ladies there seem set on getting me working with my drawings...maybe they are not necessarily exposed to the best of the best...they make me feel pretty good about myself, though!

I started a roast tonight. I seared it, and peeled the veggies. All I have to do in the morning is add broth and everything I readied tonight, push start up the crockpot...and wait eight hours. the plan is to use the left overs for french dip sandwiches. All in all, it sounds like a god week, food-wise.

Oh, and I signed up to sub for Wapato! Cora will be thrilled! She should be home soon. She went to a candle party...I am not sure what that is. I can only assume it is something that includes candles and...costing me lots of money. Of course, I did not work much last week, so, how much can I complain? Yeah, not much...plus she let me buy some stuff off of e-bay...one such thing was a copy of the ship's newspaper from the USS Huntington, one of the first ships to fly aircraft in the US Navy. It is dated 1917...I think it was a pretty good deal. Less than 10 bucks. I suspect if I put it in a display with a picture of said ship and sold it agin..well, I might make few bucks on it...I dunno...it's an idea.

Tomorrow I work again!! Hurray!

Teaching Post That May Bore Most Humans

I love sixth graders. I taught at the intermediate today. An entirely different batch of sixth graders than before, but nevertheless, I enjoyed being around them. Sixth graders seem to be such a different animal than the others.

I have now taught each grade level. I appreciate the Seniors in their advanced classes, and the kinders are the cutest to be seen. I like third graders, but fourth graders seem to be a bit more effort. I like Fifth graders, but Sixth graders just seem SO THERE in the learning. Seventh and Eighth graders are in between being children and becoming young adults who basically don't know who they are anyway, and so take everything so seriously, unless it's learning...and then it's full-hearted-half-heartedness.

We had a read-in today. It was the last day of the quarter. They have a program in-which they read a book, answer questions related to thtbook on computer, print it out and gain points according to how well they do. It seems pretty simple. The kids do well. We spent most of the day reading. It was fun.

What made it better was the other sixth graders in the hallways calling out to Mr. H. asking when I would sub again for them. Then, earlier, at the beginning of the day, I was walking through the teacher's lounge and one of the teachers was talking to some others. She looked at me and asked my name. I said, "Jim." She said, "No, Your last name." I told her. She said, "you're the one!" Apparently she and her daughter had been talking about subs. One of the subs at the intermediate had fallen asleep yesterday, and she had brought this up to her daughter. Her daughter said the best sub of all was...me.

I later found out who her daughter was. It was a girl whom I thought did not think alot of me. It is always interesting to find out who likes you...often it ends up being the person you think does not care much for you. Weird.

Good Lord, this post make me sound like some sort of ultra-awesome guy, but the truth is I am not ultra-awesome, I simply tell the kids the way it is and have fun doing it. That last part, having fun, is, I think, the part that makes me a good sub.

I am sorry this post is not more interesting. I guess it might be interesting to teachers...but even then, well, it's a close call.

On a more happy note, far from me boasting, Thanksgiving is creeping nearer! One more day, as Cora's clock indicates. See her site for the cool countdown she has on her site.

Oh, that's another thing: Teaching sixth graders makes me want to be a Dad THAT much more.

Did I mention my beer is done? It tastes more like Cider than beer.